Planet of the Apes

I really do seem to be personally very different from all of the rest of you alleged human beings. It’s like I’m secretly stuck in The Twilight Zone version of Jim Carrey’s movie The Truman Show [1998]. Or else some unusually ghastly iteration of Keanu Reeve’s The Matrix [1999]. I tend to think of all of you as some type of subhuman, obnoxious insect-species who is utterly opposed to the philosophy and lifestyle of reason, and who lies with every word out of your reptilian mouths. You folks seem to have no notion of the concept of justice — and you don’t even CARE that you have this massive lacuna. Idealism, integrity, personal consistency, fair play for all, and political equal treatment are evidently all notions for pure fools, according to you people. So life here on Earth in the 21st century really is The Planet of the Apes for me. And all that’s left for me to do is sputter with impotent rage: “Take your stinkin’ paws offa me, you damn dirty apes!”

Why I Hate You All

Why do I hate the guts of every last one of you? Well now, let’s see. Because all of you are liars — and I’m not. Because all of you are hypocrites — and I’m not. Because all of you are scumbags from hell — and I’m certainly not.

Just take a look at English spelling. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Just take a look at the arrangement of the keys on the typewriter. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I can’t even compose this hyperbolic blog without being continually, painfully reminded what failures, losers, and monsters you all are! Continue reading